This is SO cool!

I sometimes have problems spelling the word "Museum."  I long have.  I  can spell "musee" (yes, with the accent) perfectly, without even thinking about it because the French make more spelling sense than the English.

Regardless of how it is spelled, you have to go to the
Valentino Museum.  Right now.  You click the link, insert your email address, read the terms and YOU ARE IN VALENTINO'S MUSEUM.  It is SO cool.  There are incredible photographs, pretty dresses on mannequins, and even videotapes of fashion shows.  Unlike in physical museums, you don't even have to wait until the video finishes so you can see the beginning!  (Which would be quite a pain.  The shows are very long -- the primavera (spring) 2005 show was about 37 minutes long.)  It's very cool.  Excuse me while I go oggle haute couture.

I really hate it when people say "Santy Claus."

            I cannot stand it.  The radio knows about fifty songs the rest of the year, all by different people, but when it comes to Christmas, they FORGET that there are more than five songs in the world and that ten people should not sing different versions of a song and call them different songs. 

            Worse even than the fact that people think that five songs can masquerade as a full mix for six weeks (They haven’t the sense to start it, like, today.  They have to start it right after Thanksgiving.), people also think it is okay this time of year to mispronounce “Santa Claus.”  Not even in that pretty Alpine way where they say “Sinta Claus” or “Sinta Clauus,” they say it in the Andy Griffith “Santy Claus” way.  I really hate that.

            Usually Christmas doesn’t annoy me this much.  But this year the music is getting to me.  Best nine-minute music hiatus ever here.

It's an Unsimple Christmas!

As you may be at least somewhat aware I live in a part of the United States where it does not snow, so  this song rings true.  I would like to attribute the first verse (in quotes) as well as the general premise for the song to the fabulous Irving Berlin.

Ladies and Gentlemen, today we are gathered together to witness a football game and a ball dropping on people’s feet in Times Square while Nivea tells you to moisturize your skin and HSN blares in the background while Suzanne insists you don’t have to send it back until January 31^st.  Yes, that’s right, folks.  We are witnessing the beginning of the Christmas season.

Please stand for a song…

(to the tune of White Christmas)

"The sun is shining, and the grass is green

The orange and the palm trees sway

There’s never been such a lovely day

In Beverly Hills, L.A.

But it’s December the 24^th

And I am longing up North"

And I’m dreaming of a white Christmas

Just like the ones I saw in Elf

Maybe this year we will go to Delft

Where the figurines

Aren’t made of polyethylene

Oh oh oh

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas

For every Christmas card I send

I am helping to amend

The very dire situation

Overall it’s quite financial

Of the USPS

Oh, you know

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas

Before the polar ice caps melt

We are hoping to help PETA stop using pelts

Because as you know

It’s very inhumane and

Honest Truth:

It’s not Christmassy!

Merry Christmas and a Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.

Images:
Image'>http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=987">Image: graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Image'>http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1058">Image: Arvind Balaraman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Image'>http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1373">Image: Hal Brindley / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dear Mattel: Please Build Lilli Again!

For more information about Lilli, click here, Barbie click here.
 In 1956, Ruth Handler went to Germany and bought three plastic dolls.  They were modeled after a cartoon character named Lilli from the cartoon Lilli in the Bild-Zeitung, a German newspaper. 

            Everybody knew this doll was a sex toy.  She was a stupid little plastic fashion doll.  She was funny, she was based on a funny character, and no mummy would ever give her baby Lilli.  If you ask me, it’s pretty clear that this wasn’t even really a doll to be played with, as she came with a doll stand.  She didn’t want to be your best friend, and she didn’t aspire to be an astronaut or an anorexic babysitter.  Lilli was just a sexy secretary willing to use men to get what she wanted.

            It was Handler who gave her baby, Barbara, a Bild Lilli from Germany and set out to turn them into the grown-up role models that every girl wants her grown-up doll to be.  Handler failed miserably from the start.  Parents even today worry about their daughters’ self-esteem as they dress what I’m going to call “New Look” Barbie.  Why?  I’m calling her New Look Barbie because the clothes she wore and her body shape (which was created) were definitely influenced by the shapes and silhouettes of Dior’s New Look, which often had inner corselets and bust padding or expected their wearers to also don tightly-laced corsets.

            Frankly, I don’t think there is very much wrong with the old Barbie or her post-1997 counterpart, who has a larger waist.  Mattel themselves said in ’97 that they changed Barbie’s body shape because it was more suited to modern fashions, which is true.  Try finding a body shaper at a department store today, and you’re more likely to be sent to the Spanx than the corset display. 

            We might be able to talk for hours and hours about how the New Look silhouette is unhealthy or that today’s Barbie isn’t any better, but by that point we’re talking about the fashion industry; bash live models before Barbie – she’s modeled after them.  Culpable instead is Ruth Handler, for taking Lilli, a plain vinyl doll shaped as though she were wearing certain foundation garments popular at the time and handing it to her daughter saying “here is a woman you can idolize, for she shall be a role model for all of your endeavors.*”  I don’t look at models like Heidi Klum or Kate Moss and expect them to become computer engineers, astronauts, teachers, doctors and probably a bunch of other careers requiring the 19-year-old to have doctoral or post-doc degrees.  If they do, that’s great, but at that point, they’re not models anymore.  They’re computer engineers or astronauts or teachers or doctors, and they’re probably not 19. 

            The problem with Barbie is her story, not her body.  Long ago, her name was Lilli, and she was a sexy secretary.  That was her character’s story.  Lilli was a fashion plate, not a role model.  She wore fashionable clothes that fashionable models wore, often with constrictive foundations.  As a doll, she was sculpted as though she was wearing them because it would be lame to put a corset on a doll. Today, models don’t wear those foundation garments, though they are quite thin.  Barbie is shaped fashionably because she has never lost her status as a fashion doll, only gained a variety of crazy careers and books while remaining Forever 19.

            Measure Barbie all you want.  She’s a fashion doll, and while she’s gained some status, that’s not who she is.  I say we should bring Lilli back to be what Barbie once was but has lost: the grown-up fashion doll for grown-ups, a plastic mini-model without the careers and the adorable life; that’s the part that’s ridiculous and annoying.

*Not an actual quote. 

PS – Happy Assonant Armistice Day, everyone!  We won’t have another one for a century.

Update: Couture Allure has a fabulous comparison between a vintage Barbie dress and Balenciaga here.

Drugstores at Halloween

            I like Halloween.  I really do.  I like telling vampire stories with extremely graphic descriptions of blood while lighting your face from beneath under a scratchy wool blanket.  (See, Halloween can be fun!)

            However, come October, I have to avoid drugstores until January 15^th.  I’d better stock up on gummy bears now.  Why?

Perfect Halloween decor.  All it requires is a couple of people and some toilet paper.

            Drugstores like to scare their patrons.  Really.  C’mon, CVS, do you think that we want to go in there and watch the little rubber-faced man with the vest take his head off and put it on a silver platter?  Do you think it’s our idea of fun to walk up to the cherished gummy bear rack only to have the grey fine tulle-clad grim reaper stick out his sickle at us?  Do I really want to walk towards the stationary if I just KNOW the bloody-faced woman is going to jump out of her coffin at me as I go between the nail polish and the magazines?  No!  No, I’m going to avoid your entire store for the next five months.

            I’m serious.  (During Christmas I don’t hate you AS much, you just play crappy Christmas music and light cinnamon bonfires by the door.  Glade is not as good a sales tool as you think it is.)

            Michael’s is just as guilty if not more.  I can’t go in past October tenth.  They like to scare us too, with scarecrows and zombie tombstones.  WHY DO THEY MAKE THIS SHIT?

            It’s not even the concept that is that scary.  I could live with the concept.  I could live with the gory description and the distinct odor of rotting hemes.  It’s the ANIMATRONICS that creep me out.  These things are scary.  It’s like they’re going to come out and bite you.

            They’re going to come out and bite you, but not in the way they did in the 1200’s, where they said you were possessed by the devil and then burned you at the stake in the market for being a witch.  We know these things aren’t being possessed by the devil.  Of course they’re not.  They were programmed by regular people sitting at home watching Power Rangers and Ghostbusters.  NORMAL PEOPLE.   They could be out there, among us now, taking their inspiration from anything and then submitting us to a barrage of creepy programmed straw and latex each tenth month of the year!

            It’s unavoidable, too.  They submit sick people to this stuff.  Unlike those of us addicted to gummy bears, who can stock up indefinitely, those who need prescription drugs have to bear this WITHOUT FAIL.  It’s not like you can just forget about your heart arithmia medicine.  You need it, so you go to the drugstore and get scared by the five or so plastic creatures they have set up there. 

            I propose we ban drugstores from having animatronics.  It could be like they do in gated communities or those suburban neighborhoods where they don’t let you have faded plastic flamingos in the yard because they don’t like the twisted wire legs.  There are a number of reasons to support the ban: children getting scared and being scarred for life, grown-ups going in and being scarred for life, people dying from malnutrition due to lack of gummy-bear availability, people going broke due to price of gummy bears places besides CVS.  Come  on, gummy bear eaters!  Rally!

Image credit:Marco Torresin/Freedigitalphotos.net

Progress on the fashion post

Remember Simplicity 2914?   It's finished,  a little big.  I have "finishing touches" to go on it.  I'm working on 2346 (Lisette Traveler dress) view A, and hope to finish it in a couple of weeks.  What's next?  Who knows?  I sure don't.  I'm thinking a dotted swiss trench or a convertible LBD.  That's all I'll say for now...

Ambiguity of a Phrase

Sound good when you get up in front of one of these: take diction.
Source: Salvadore Vuono/freedigitalphotos.net

I always hate the phrase "yourear."  You can never tell if people are saying "your ear" or "your rear."  This great ambiguity of phrasing makes it very difficult to tell what someone is saying.  I wonder how many bets have been lost by yourear.

This is why I think everyone should take diction for one year in eighth or tenth grade.  It could be a once-a-week lesson of thirty minutes, which would still equal fifteen or twenty hours of tutoring.  I certainly think it would be worth the nesesary pulling out of class.  In fact, I think it would enhance in-class performance, as well as college performance and interpersonal skills.  I'm not suggesting that we try to get rid of our own genuine national or regional dialect or try to rid ourselves of accents.  Accents can be incredibly beautiful; I love accents.  What I don't like is mumbling.  We have to get rid of the mumbling.

Or else our writing will have to morph to something along the lines of gdeouhdfkhvldfh to help estimate the pronunciation of our real life speech.

Ten reasons Costco sucks (and why you should shop there anyway)

Costco sucks.  You know they do. 

1. There's only one variety of everything.  Want a bath rug?  Sure.  But only the Tommy Bahama ones.
2. It's depressing in there.  Warehouses are always way too dark.
3. Their food is also really limited, and usually pretty oily.
4. There's never anybody to help you.  No one walks the floor.
5. It's so big.  You can get tired walking all those aisles!

Yet you still shop there.

1. It's not too difficult to decide what to buy.  You know...too many choices are mentally bad or whatever.
2. The light will never hurt your eyes!
3. The food is cheap, voluminous, and relatively tasty.
4. No annoying sales people!
5. Who needs treadmills when you can walk Costco?

Hooray for optimism!

Fifty years later, Breakfast at Tiffany's needs yet more dirt removed

Breakfast at Tiffany’s is not a good movie. 

Let me revise that.

It’s not a good movie as it is sold.  And no one wants to sell it differently.

See, everyone working on this project is emotionally numb; it’s like they’ve just mentally made a few clips on the negative, but no one will make them physically.

Deadbolt has a great article on how they’ve restored the movie for its fiftieth anniversary Blu-ray edition.  They explain how they redid the titles and how there was a good deal of duplicates, which definitely means they clipped (maybe a copy of) the original negative. 

What I find really gross, in both the academic and colloquial sense of the word, is that no one has even suggested that they go back to that negative and make a few clips, re-engineer the soundtrack, and remove Mickey Rooney’s disgusting performance as Mr. Yunioshi, a character who really adds nothing to the movie.

I understand that there are people who think this is sacrificing the integrity of the movie.  I’ve talked to people about this issue, and they’ve responded along the lines of “it’s important to keep this as it’s a cultural artifact, no matter how racist or wrong.”  I don’t believe them.  Rooney’s performance is distracting, outdated, and, as I’ve mentioned before, irrelevant.  It makes the beginning of this movie difficult to watch because of the constant panning between Audrey Hepburn and Rooney.  Better yet, if they chose to cut Rooney and leave Hepburn, it wouldn’t be that bad of a one-sided dialogue (at least not in the beginning):

Weirdly, trailor photos that don't have copyrights are public domain
, unlike photos from the movie.  Also, French
Wikipedia has better movie pictures than the English Wik.

 HOLLY: Darling, I am sorry, but I lost my key. 

 HOLLY: I lose them all.

 HOLLY: I won’t do it again.

I cut a few lines for sensible one-sidedness, but I think it could work.  I even think they could hire an actor to stand at the top of stairs, dust off their film and cut that in.  Maybe even a real Japanese guy!

Of course, there will always be purists.  This movie is practically a study in modern racism (the idea that racism doesn’t really exist), and I think the original version could be watched, very carefully, in academic settings.  I’m not suggesting we stop selling the original unedited film, but I do think it deserves at least some kind of prelude, if just a pamphlet or an insert into the DVD (Blu-ray) case.  If it were up to me, this big-deal reissue should include two versions of the film: one full, original 1961 version, fully as 1961-style screwed up as I believe it was, and another version sans Yunioshi, a la Star Wars: The Phantom Edit.  

I don't want to say people haven't tried to skirt the issue; they've explained reminders, made a little documentary sort of thing about the issue, played Toy Story 3 instead.  It just seems to me this is an awful problem with a simple solution that we should take steps to make happen.

I like Breakfast at Tiffany’s, I do.  I like the way it is revealed, and the lighting is divine, proving that Planer was a fab choice.  I just can’t justify Mickey Rooney’s character.  Blake Edwards, the director, Richard Shepard, the producer, and Rooney have all issued statements that they wished they had never done it.  I’m not sure they realize that they can; all they have to do is cut the film and, maybe, hire another guy to stand in for Rooney’s part (and his voiceover).  Deadbolt has said they can preserve 1960’s color, and I bet they could create it with a little work.

I want this edit and will personally endorse a petition to get Paramount to release such a version of the film.  I know it’s not a family film, but there’s a big difference between “not a family film” and “a morally wrong, editable problem.” I want it and will personally endorse a petition to get Paramount to release such a version of Breakfast at Tiffany’s.  It’s such a lovely movie…I think it deserves a slight update to keep this classic classic for another fifty years.

Post-Script: The Blu-Ray now includes a short film about how the filmmakers now know that Yunioshi was morally wrong.  Still, I wish they'd just edit him out, a suggestion I have yet to see elsewhere on the internet.

Simplicity SewSimple Patterns: Kay's Take

I already told you in this post that I hate Simplicity SewSimple patterns.  I decided to elaborate instead of taking a picture of my brand new skirt made from Simplicity 2314.

One thing I definitely hate is that far too many of these patterns are made in very clearly printed fabric.  I'm almost certain they do that to distract us from the line drawings, much like Burda frequently covers up and distorts their patterns in their magazines. 

The line drawings of many of these patterns are okay, they just make the instructions on said patterns difficult to follow. 

Further, there is very little about these patterns that is particularly spectacular.  They're unnessesarily difficult to sew and have few beautiful or perfect little details.

I should let you know that I'm being a little whiney about these patterns.  After all, when I began 1970 I could barely sew a straight seam, and I tried to make it out of easy-to-fray fabric.  I didn't exactly have all the stars aligned for the skirt to come out too well.

Of course, I've also considered that I hated the pleating of it and I hated the sewing on of the awful elastic waistband, which I absolutely despised.  However, there are too many patterns for dogs and little kids, and an overabundance of elastic waists and aprons. 

Bottom Line:  I can't help not liking SewSimple patterns, but I would like to wish Simplicity good luck with future seasons.  I hope they create many gorgeous patterns that are simple, classic, and relatively easy to sew.

Bye bye, Corn Pops...Just Kidding

Apparently Corn Pops are going to die.  They’re going to die a slow, long, painful death.  They will starve because no one wants to eat them.  (Food, you see, starves by NOT being eaten, as opposed to humans, who starve by not having anything to eat.)

They are dying, says Forbes.  They will be gone very shortly, within the next year.  People are already stopping eating them.  Corn Pops are dying.

No one will really make you eat these yucky,
 sugarless things

  Oh wait.  I was just kidding.  Sorry for being melodramatic; according to SodaHead’s article, a real life Kellogg’s executive said that they weren’t going to kill Corn Pops.  Yay!  Now we will all get fat on HFCS with our beloved breakfast crap while we slowly kill MySpace, American Apparel, and Sears.  Corn Pops are SO much better than snow tires, vintage clothing, and OneRepublic, which was discovered on MySpace.

Alas, we all knew Facebook would be king.  How else could there be Assbook (on the cover of a Hallmark greeting card featuring dogs)?  What would that be?  MyAss’sSpace?  Just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

American Apparel, you know, has three distinct disadvantages leading to its demise: Everything there is more expensive because it’s made in the US, “American Apparel” sounds too much like “American Eagle Outfitters,” and Apparel is too hard to spell. 

You can't buy these at Kmart.

Sears, which has an executive-confirmed impending closure (though I’m too lazy to dig up the link because my friend Google will do it for you), makes relative sense.  Why go to nicer, neater, quieter and more expensive Sears when we can pick easier, cheaper, louder and uglier Kmart?  Obviously they don’t have the same stuff, and we’ll have to head to Costco for our snow tires, but what a small price to pay?  Sears only sells much, much better clothes, shoes, bedding and housewares than Costco or Kmart. 

The others are pretty self-explanatory or boring, but you know which ones I’m watching.  How about you?

Oh yeah, I forgot to talk to you!

Surprisingly, I think a blog is a little like a plant.  You really should talk to it often if you want it to grow big and strong.  Mostly I'm hoping this will grow big so I'll have lots of things to read when I am old.

So I wrote a lot of stuff, but then it seems I've forgotten about you for days, sweet blog.  (In case you didn't notice, I haven't written anything current since last weekend.  Oops.

The skirt I mentioned is going very well so far, except that I conviniently lost a pattern piece (the waistband).  Now I have to sort of draft one out of the very well-cut version I made of light blue broadcloth and cut it out of the magical scraps left over from the first skirt I tried to make:

That's right, the icky icky red sateen is now going to be very pretty pretty indeed!

However, I decided I wanted the other skirt AFTER I had decided that I wanted the gross gathered skirt, so last night I conviniently cut out the two fronts and two backs out of two pieces of fabric a whopping 19" wide!  Yes, I made a skirt out of fabric 19" * 33" times two!

That's how awesome I am!

Except that I have yet to figure out that waistband.  I really wanted a contrast waistband at first, but the contrast I have at the moment is a very scratchy black cotton broadcloth.  It's heavy, it has no drape, and I don't really love it.  Why should I sew something I don't absolutely love?

Models are people, too

1

I hate it when people try to talk about the “wearability” of stuff like everything should be “wearable.”  Specifically, everything should be wearable on “real women.”  That’s another term I hate, “real women.”  It’s so obvious from the term that models are not real women.  They also do not wear wearable things.  This is clearly because models are made of plastic and they are naked. 

            The fact that models look like real women is just an illusion.  It is also an illusion that they are wearing clothes.

2

            Except that oh, hey, I know a model.  Maybe you know a few models, too.  They are real women, I am pretty sure.  They also wear clothes.  Real, wearable clothes, even at fashion shows because guess what?  They are real clothes.

            Let’s stop doing it.  It is really annoyingly selfish when people who are not built like models or do not look like models or lack the guts to wear orange plastic boots once in a while.  Just because you might not wear it to work or in a normal circumstance doesn’t mean you can’t wear it; you can wear it, which is the definition of wearability.  After all, the model wore it, and she’s a real woman, even if she is 6'10" and weighs 6 pounds.

Image sources

1.  Salvador Vuono/freedigitalphotos.net

2. Dundee Photographics/freedigitalphotos.net

I actually like to sew things

Hey, guess what?  I can actually sew!

You thought I didn’t really like sewing.  You thought I just said that because I wanted to like sewing.  Nope; I really meant those feet pajamas!  (They were white flannel printed with many feet.  They didn’t have places for me feet; that would be juvenile and difficult to sew). 

            Unfortunately, Simplicity definitely needs to rebrand their SewSimple patterns.  They are not sew simple.  They are sew difficult.  And sew convoluted.  And I am sew tired of pretending sew is so, so I’m going to stop.

            First of all, 1970, is NOT an easy pattern.  The first step is to PLEAT it.  Yes, that is right.  You have to make FOURTEEN pleats.  Yes, FOURTEEN.  After that, you have to sew in these stupid pockets, but they were VERY unclear where the “large dots” were where you’re supposed to not sew so that your hand can actually go in.  If you make up your own large dots, it will fray on the inside.  After all of this sweet, simple sewing, you get to attach an elastic waistband.  Yes, after you make the pleats.  Yes, on top of the two-hour pleats.

It probably didn’t help that I 1) didn’t make a muslin, 2) used 100% cotton sateen, which I am sure is the easiest-fraying fabric on the planet, and 3) sewed everything by hand.

I actually sewed the pleats by hand AND by machine, then had no seam ripper, so they looked very crappy.

In the end, I decided I didn’t every want a freaking pleated skirt, so I did what every person does who has devoted ten hours to sewing something they no longer want: I headed to the nearest fabric store and bought the cheapest cotton-poly broadcloth on the planet and  another pattern.

Yay.  Never again will I be induced by pattern cheapness. (I bought the first Simplicity pattern because It was 97 cents.  Yeah; bad reason.)

Needless to say, the muslin (broadcloth?) is going beautifully.  I handpicked the zipper (I put the zipper in the muslin (broadcloth?), yes.  I flashed to another store to buy some sewable interfacing because I have no iron, but then I forgot that Google is my best friend and I didn’t do it right.  Luckily, although they tell you you need a yard and a quarter of fusible interfacing, they mean you need four inches.  Because I did the interfacing wrong, I now need to rip out the waistband, which I did in a contrasting color (yes, on the muslin [broadcloth?]).  Then I will put in a better-cut version of the waistband thing and finish up the muslin (broadcloth?) and look for some normal, beautiful, non-polyester fabric to make a skirt about which I will actually blog.

PS – I’m making view C, no braid.

I still haven't fallen off the earth!

The internet lacks free pictures of marshmallows.  Apparently they're worth paying for.  Image: Arvind Balaraman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In case you don't know, dear reader: College is hard.  Also: College takes a lot of energy.

Although I might as well buy the t-shirt "I'd rather be blogging," I want "Trust me, I'm a doctor" with "No, really, I am!" screenprinted on the back even more.

Today's posty is about t-shirts and marshmallow toasties. 
Posty started as a typo but then it seemed like a good idea.

If you don't have your very own gorgeous brass fire pit then you're like me!  If you have a toaster oven, you are also like me!  If you have too many chocolate chips, Jet-puffs (yes, they really are my favorite) and grahams, you are even more like me!  (Aren't you so happy?)

Even better, you can make a marshmallow toasty, which is essentially a toaster oven s'more.  The weird contraction, though, has always bugged me.

1. Toast a marshmallow on top of a split graham
2. Toast a few (6-8) mini chocolate chips on the other half of the split graham. 
You can do these at the same time. 
3. Put the two pieces on a baking sheet and bake or toast until the marshmallow puffs.
4. Put one piece on top of the other, move it to a plate, and eat it like a s'more.  If you don't love the black-outside marshmallows, it tastes EXACTLY like a normal s'more.

Well, that's all.  Just so youknow I'm still here.

Blogger is mean

Ok, I could lie and tell you that I had tons of blog posts planned during my absence and the title had to do with the fact that Blogger Is Mean and didn't post my posts.  Alas, not so.  Blogger is just loading super slow today, so I decided to just tell you I was alive and write some more tomorrow.

Today I'm following Cate and chanelling Hemingway

Today's six words are:

People walk calmly after the war.

Thanks to Ernest Hemingway for coming up with the idea and Cate at Show my Face for revolutionalising it and bringing it to blogging.

http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS (the shiny picture-link doesn't work)

Coco Chanel's Kevin Bacon Number is Six

They said it could not be done.  More than none of my friends insisted there was no way to connect COCO CHANEL to KEVIN BACON.

Oprah Winfrey?  Piece of cake.In Charlotte's Web (2006) with Dakota Fanning from Cat in the Hat (2003) with Mike Myers on Saturday Night Live like John Belushi in Animal House with Kevin Bacon.  Alec Baldwin?  In She's Having a Baby with Kevin Bacon.  They're actors...it's no big deal.

"Gabrielle Chanel!"  I yelled, excited.  Anyone could do this!  It's fun!

"Actor," responded my impudent friends.  "She's a fashion designer.  You can't do a fashion designer." 

Oh, but Dan, you can!  I thought about explaining it here, but it seemed like it would be more fun to exploit the idea on my blog.

Coco Chanel was a member of the Chambre Syndicale de la Haute Couture Parisienne, as was Hubert de Givenchy, whose main muse was Audrey Hepburn, who was in The Children's Hour, as was Keira Knightly, who was in Pride and Prejudice with Donald Sutherland, who was in Animal House with Kevin Bacon. 

There you go.  Gabrielle Chanel ---> Kevin Bacon = 6.

Happy128th birthday, Gabrielle!

Image credit: Idea go/Freedigitalphotos.net

Happy 128th birthday, Gabrielle!

Is two scoops too many?

At the inaugural post, I promised some pretty inane things, didn’t I?  No? 

Aw, well…

This is inane.

See, I think that two scoops of raisins are too many for one box of raisin bran.  I mean, how big are those scoops, anyway?  I bet they’re pretty big.

I suppose the Raisin Bran Problem, which essentially involves there being more Raisin than Bran, could be solved by using a shallower bowl, instead of a deep cup.

Still, though, I’m not buying it.  In a shallower bowel, it’s harder to pick up cereal from the bottom, which might mean more even raisin distribution, but would probably negatively affect the experience more than the over-raisin-ness. 

Those less-than-two-scoops wouldn’t make the raisins lighter or easier to pick up.  Still, one-and-a-half-scoops might make the cereal less overly-sweet and kiddish.  They could even halve the size of the scoops and market it as the cereal with the “Three Scoops!”

PS—Yes, I know about the bowel.  I put it in there to make you laugh.

Use of the word Couture in America

Image credit:
Suat Eman/freedigitalphotos.net

Did you know there is actually an organization that regulates fashion?  They actually control fashion labelling, even though they're not like the fashion police.  The Chambre Syndicale de Haute Couture actually states that, according to Wikipedia (YES, I KNOW THEY ARE UNRELIABLE), a true couture house must have an atelier (workshop) with fifteen full-time workers in Paris, present two shows of 35 items a year, and custom-fit garments for customers. 

Such is the one and only collection of people with the legal right to label their clothes "haute couture."  There are a few non-French members of the Chambre, namely Armani and Valentino, among others.  Couture Sewing Techniques by Claire Shaeffer said that Oscar de la Renta was the only American member, but Wikipedia did not list him among correspondence or guest.

However unreliable my sources, I have a strong sense of international justice and feel I must deter non-members of the   Chambre from using the couture label.

A few days ago (a few more since this post was previously deleted), I was watching shopping TV, which is always boring, but due to my new knowledge over laws and labelling, it was injustifiably interesting.  Here were these clearly uncertified people saying "it's couture!"  They laude the couture details and show off the impeccable couture design, haute styling!  It was an American designer.

I don't think this is so wrong because Americans are calling random pret-a-porter (ready-to-wear) "couture," I think it's wrong because they have no standards.  Just about anyone can call themselves a couture designer here -- it's like in The Jungle when plants would label these sausages premium and those sausages regular.  They were the same sausages.  Well, if you call it couture, I expect some couture sausages!*

Because fashion is so relentlessly unregulated in the US, anyone can call their product whatever they want.  I'm not too keen on the usage to mean pret-a-porter, but if that's all American designers will provide...

I guess if I had to start from scratch and forget, like these imposter designers and their customers already have, that couture is the description of an exceptionally high-quality, custom-made garment, I propose we have a set of different standards for America.  Let's please call it high fashion, though, instead of haute couture...

• Hold a show of at least 20 pret-a-porter garments on models who do not have perfect fit model proportions and for whom said clothes were not made
• Have at least one "special collection," which contains adaptable designs to be graded up or down for a customer's provided measurements, and
• Have at least one person who stands as the head and public fave of the design house.

Basically, I'm seeing American couture as something very close to Light-in-the-Box.com (for which I cannot vouch), but with a designer, a fashion show, and not custom-modelled clothes.

What do you think American high fashion should be?  Does it have a place in the U.S.A?

I found Anthropologie. Please help.

Oh yes, dear reader, I have found it.  I have been to the store with the whimsical style, adorable homegoods, and easy-to-knock patterns.

I entered, saw one project I could see myself making, the trench-coat skirt.
After that I found the books.

Yes, I am in love with Anthro's books.  Not their shoes, housewares (though those were cute), not even, so much (after seeing them in person), their dresses.  What I really want from Anthropologie is their set of adorable children's titles like Peter Pan and The Secret Garden with their sweet, illustrated, embossed covers.  I want them all, even though I am too lazy but sure I could find them from Penguin, which publishes the copies.  So basically, I go into a semi-cute store, and find little of interest beyond that what I could probably find on Amazon for less.

Of course, I don't think I should like Anthro for anything in particular.  I think I really, really like their atmosphere and can find most else of interest from there elsewhere. 

My first six word Saturday

I thought I'd try this, posting just six words on Saturday.  I'd might as well.  This one's from my real life, but check later for a real story.


Enjoying my new book from Anthropologie

http://www.amazon.com/Alice-Wonderland-Lewis-Carroll/dp/1612930301/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1313212707&sr=1-1, I can't find the Penguin edition.

A thought and a question

I just had this thought...

To throw is to trust the air, sometimes with life.

I like to sew things

So when I began this blog a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't really sure where I was going, but I knew I wanted to take a few steps and start.  While I have decided this is officially not a sewing blog, this is a life+style blog.

One of the most important things about style, that is, physical style, is how you present yourself to the world.  I think sewing your own clothes is an important and great way to make sure your clothes fit because let's face it, whoever drafts patterns and especially ready-to-wear patterns has never seen a real person.  They live with dress forms that don't actually have the proportions of people.

For this reason, I decided to give real sewing a try.  I've made some pajama pants before, and started a jumper in quilting cotton (and so I quit), but that is my full...sartography?  Collection?  I don't know.

I'm starting with a really simple pattern, Simplicity 1970.  It's called a "SewSimple" pattern, which means it has only one view and it's (theoretically) easy.  I still have to learn how to pleat, and am looking desperately for an awesome and easy-to-follow tutorial.  I have too much to do, but I think that it's so important that one's clothes make one feel good.  This is a quickie post, but I thought it would be good to solidify the direction I'd really like to carry this blog.  I'm getting started, and I like it so far...hopefully I won't have to make another post later: I don't like to sew things.  Because so far since I do I want to keep it that way.

Waah! I lost my post



Image credit: PANPOTE
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2253
Freedigitalphotos.net

I like to save my posts on my computer as opposed to on the Blogger cloud, but unfortunately, my computer sometimes decides to shut down due to thermal problems.    So I decided to post today about computer problems. 

I hate it very much when my computer shuts down because it gets too hot.  Way too hot, and it seems to get hot no matter what I do to it.  I have a giant USB fan, and it still shuts down periodically because it's too hot. 

Even worse is when it shuts down all by itself with no warning and no chance to save my documents.  Of course, it does technically warn me, but then I forget to postpone it because the message goes away, or I just hit "restart now" by accident.  In fact, I hate the messages that tell me to restart the computer.

This is pretty much a whining post, which I didn't really want to do, but sometimes I get upset at the internet and I have pretty much nothing else to say.  Just so it's out there, I was going to post about the use of the label "couture" in America, and I will within I week when I gain the energy to re-write it.



"Where Style Meets Comfort"



Image credit: Suat Eman, http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=151, freedigitalphotos.net

Guess what I’m talking about.  You have three guesses, but two of them don’t count.

Da.

Da.

Da.

Pajama Jeans.

            I just love how they try to sell these things.  They said “Where style meets comfort” about 500 times.  Then they went on and on about how people wear these things to the absolute fanciest occasions and people think they are wearing $200 expensive, designer jeans.   I want some of those.

Who deserves it more?

I live in the United States.  You can look up more stats on world hunger here (WFP)

            There are 17 million hungry American kids.  There are 11 million hungry Somali.  Caca.

Who deserves the food more?

Watching the laundry and getting serious

            Laundry always interests me.  It’s such a mundane task, but you just have to do it one time or another, and people have had to do it for ages.  I really like to watch it spin.  As much as I love that, though, I always think about the people who had to do it when it was really hard work.  I hate laundry because it’s incredibly boring, but what about the time before that when it wasn’t just a boring chore mostly involving sitting and watching laundry spin. 

            For example, what about when laundry was actually physical exercise? 

            A long time ago (and still, I suppose, in undeveloped countries) people literally had to squeeze the laundry, rub the laundry on a washboard, go forth and carry it to the dry line and dry it.  Yick! 

            I wonder even more about people who don’t do laundry or don’t have the means.  For example, what about the poor people in Somalia?  Clearly, they have more important things to think about than laundry, like eating and wars and keeping cool.  I remember one time I bought a new shirt because I was just too busy to wash that night, but they clearly can’t do that.

About French-class names

This is related to French classes or names.  In French class, you learn to make brioche, like the cupcake on the right with the swirly thing. 

Having taken numerous French classes where I was not required to change my name, this is a new one for me.   Apparently, Lisette (of Lisette patterns for Simplicity) is Liesl’s French-class name.  Of course, this isn’t anything new.  I’ve heard of other French teachers having students draw a new, more French name from a hat to replace theirs for a school-period a day.

            I think it’s a bad idea.

Adding "man" to a word does not make it more "manly."

So, apparently there is a new phenomenon known as "manorexia."  It's like anorexia, only on men.  Perhaps manorexics carry murses.  Those are like purses, only for men.

Oh wait. 

They are purses.  They just added "man" to  it to make it more manly.  They forgot that they didn't actually change anything.

I think I am on to something.

Perhaps we've tapped a new market that would let us sell almost everything originally made for women to men.  I mean, we already have "guyliner," (that's like eyeliner) what about "manstick?"  (That's like lipstick.)

PS -- I don't really care if/that guys want to wear makeup, carry purses or stop eating (though the last one is sad on anybody); I just wish they could take it as what it actually is and not have to add "guy," "man" or "dude" to it.  After all, it's the same thing.

Well, this is the inagural post.

Hello,

Apparently innagural posts on blogs are supposed to be some really big deal.  Like they're a predictor of future blog success and they showcase style and writing skill.

Really?  I've read a bunch of other innagural posts, and they're pretty much as boring as this one.  (The first real post will be a lot bigger and better than this one).