Ten reasons Costco sucks (and why you should shop there anyway)

Costco sucks.  You know they do. 

1. There's only one variety of everything.  Want a bath rug?  Sure.  But only the Tommy Bahama ones.
2. It's depressing in there.  Warehouses are always way too dark.
3. Their food is also really limited, and usually pretty oily.
4. There's never anybody to help you.  No one walks the floor.
5. It's so big.  You can get tired walking all those aisles!

Yet you still shop there.

1. It's not too difficult to decide what to buy.  You know...too many choices are mentally bad or whatever.
2. The light will never hurt your eyes!
3. The food is cheap, voluminous, and relatively tasty.
4. No annoying sales people!
5. Who needs treadmills when you can walk Costco?

Hooray for optimism!