Friday, March 30, 2012


I think one thing that must suck in college for the teachers is that they have to go around carting all of their teacher materials and stuff, and they can’t leave them in the room. This is bad for the teachers because those bags are HEAVY, but it’s also bad for students because they are in a less visually and emotionally rich environment. People learn better where they feel comfortable, and they can leave things behind and pick them up later, but college doesn’t let them do that. Also, I think people learn better when they have a way to remember where they were when they learned something, but I think literally ALL of my college classrooms look the same. The only thing different is the windows in the regular cinderblock classrooms. There are also lecture halls, labs, and portable classrooms, which end up being the most memorable. The rest are ALL THE SAME. It probably doesn’t help that most of my classes are in the same building.


I’ve used my hairdryer a total of probably twice. I might use it more often if mine looked as weird and awesome as this. It’s from Heal's. 

 

Saturday, March 3, 2012

College: Moodle is overrated

So, I'm back.  Apparently I got a lot of traffic on leap day; weird.  This is not funny.  Sorry, people.

I am busy.  I am in college.  I would not be so busy if teachers went back to a very seventies way of doing things and posted all of their assignments at once, on one syllabus, gave it to you at the beginning of the class, and said "here, go do this stuff and give it to me.  Then I grade you.  Then you get on with your lives."  I like that better than the current model for two main reasons.

  1. You can get a jump on things.  If you happen to go on vacation, you can do all your homework, give it to a friend who did theirs and therefore won't steal yours, have them turn it in for you, and enjoy wherever you go.
  2. You don't have weird deadlines.
Seriously.  For those of you who went to college in the seventies, there is now this thing called Moodle.  Teachers post your assignments on Moodle.  You turn your assignments in electronically on Moodle.  The teacher grades them on Moodle.

It saves paper.  We will kill instead the aspirin trees because this is a headache inducing system.  Why?  There are two reasons.

  1. Teachers no longer have to think very far ahead.  "They'll do something on To Kill a Mockingbird in week seven."  Put in syllabus in the summer.  Teacher has six months to think of questions.  This is not fair to students or to teachers.  I once had a science teacher who said the very memorable line that "Teachers are as lazy as you are.  If they took the time to write it on the board, it is probably important."  I believe this, too.  However, these teachers are too lazy to write the thing on the damn board.  Still, they expect their students to turn things in on time.  Not fair.
  2. Teachers can access students unfairly.  For example, I have an assignment due this Sunday.  Oh wait, tomorrow.  This is terribly unfair.  I have no idea what the assignment is.  And  it's due tommorrow, on a Sunday, a day which college is all but closed.  I'm taking a once-a-week class that would normally meet two days a week, so for all fairness, I'm fine with things being due two days a week, but accessing me on days where there shouldn't be a class?  For assignments posted less than forty-eight hours in advance?  Not cool, Tony, not cool.  (Obscure reference.  If you get it, you get a lolipop.  Not a school reference.)
There's my rant.  Goodnight.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

This is SO cool!

I sometimes have problems spelling the word "Museum."  I long have.  I  can spell "musee" (yes, with the accent) perfectly, without even thinking about it because the French make more spelling sense than the English.

Regardless of how it is spelled, you have to go to the
Valentino Museum.  Right now.  You click the link, insert your email address, read the terms and YOU ARE IN VALENTINO'S MUSEUM.  It is SO cool.  There are incredible photographs, pretty dresses on mannequins, and even videotapes of fashion shows.  Unlike in physical museums, you don't even have to wait until the video finishes so you can see the beginning!  (Which would be quite a pain.  The shows are very long -- the primavera (spring) 2005 show was about 37 minutes long.)  It's very cool.  Excuse me while I go oggle haute couture.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I really hate it when people say "Santy Claus."



            I cannot stand it.  The radio knows about fifty songs the rest of the year, all by different people, but when it comes to Christmas, they FORGET that there are more than five songs in the world and that ten people should not sing different versions of a song and call them different songs. 

            Worse even than the fact that people think that five songs can masquerade as a full mix for six weeks (They haven’t the sense to start it, like, today.  They have to start it right after Thanksgiving.), people also think it is okay this time of year to mispronounce “Santa Claus.”  Not even in that pretty Alpine way where they say “Sinta Claus” or “Sinta Clauus,” they say it in the Andy Griffith “Santy Claus” way.  I really hate that.

            Usually Christmas doesn’t annoy me this much.  But this year the music is getting to me.  Best nine-minute music hiatus ever here.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

It's an Unsimple Christmas!

As you may be at least somewhat aware I live in a part of the United States where it does not snow, so  this song rings true.  I would like to attribute the first verse (in quotes) as well as the general premise for the song to the fabulous Irving Berlin.

Ladies and Gentlemen, today we are gathered together to witness a football game and a ball dropping on people’s feet in Times Square while Nivea tells you to moisturize your skin and HSN blares in the background while Suzanne insists you don’t have to send it back until January 31st.  Yes, that’s right, folks.  We are witnessing the beginning of the Christmas season.

Please stand for a song…
(to the tune of White Christmas)

"The sun is shining, and the grass is green

The orange and the palm trees sway

There’s never been such a lovely day

In Beverly Hills, L.A.

But it’s December the 24th

And I am longing up North"

And I’m dreaming of a white Christmas

Just like the ones I saw in Elf

Maybe this year we will go to Delft

Where the figurines

Aren’t made of polyethylene

Oh oh oh

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas

For every Christmas card I send

I am helping to amend

The very dire situation

Overall it’s quite financial

Of the USPS

Oh, you know

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas

Before the polar ice caps melt

We are hoping to help PETA stop using pelts

Because as you know

It’s very inhumane and

Honest Truth:

It’s not Christmassy!

Merry Christmas and a Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.

Images:
Image'>http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=987">Image: graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Image'>http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1058">Image: Arvind Balaraman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Image'>http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1373">Image: Hal Brindley / FreeDigitalPhotos.net




Friday, November 11, 2011

Dear Mattel: Please Build Lilli Again!

For more information about Lilli, click here, Barbie click here.
 In 1956, Ruth Handler went to Germany and bought three plastic dolls.  They were modeled after a cartoon character named Lilli from the cartoon Lilli in the Bild-Zeitung, a German newspaper. 

            Everybody knew this doll was a sex toy.  She was a stupid little plastic fashion doll.  She was funny, she was based on a funny character, and no mummy would ever give her baby Lilli.  If you ask me, it’s pretty clear that this wasn’t even really a doll to be played with, as she came with a doll stand.  She didn’t want to be your best friend, and she didn’t aspire to be an astronaut or an anorexic babysitter.  Lilli was just a sexy secretary willing to use men to get what she wanted.

            It was Handler who gave her baby, Barbara, a Bild Lilli from Germany and set out to turn them into the grown-up role models that every girl wants her grown-up doll to be.  Handler failed miserably from the start.  Parents even today worry about their daughters’ self-esteem as they dress what I’m going to call “New Look” Barbie.  Why?  I’m calling her New Look Barbie because the clothes she wore and her body shape (which was created) were definitely influenced by the shapes and silhouettes of Dior’s New Look, which often had inner corselets and bust padding or expected their wearers to also don tightly-laced corsets.

            Frankly, I don’t think there is very much wrong with the old Barbie or her post-1997 counterpart, who has a larger waist.  Mattel themselves said in ’97 that they changed Barbie’s body shape because it was more suited to modern fashions, which is true.  Try finding a body shaper at a department store today, and you’re more likely to be sent to the Spanx than the corset display. 

            We might be able to talk for hours and hours about how the New Look silhouette is unhealthy or that today’s Barbie isn’t any better, but by that point we’re talking about the fashion industry; bash live models before Barbie – she’s modeled after them.  Culpable instead is Ruth Handler, for taking Lilli, a plain vinyl doll shaped as though she were wearing certain foundation garments popular at the time and handing it to her daughter saying “here is a woman you can idolize, for she shall be a role model for all of your endeavors.*”  I don’t look at models like Heidi Klum or Kate Moss and expect them to become computer engineers, astronauts, teachers, doctors and probably a bunch of other careers requiring the 19-year-old to have doctoral or post-doc degrees.  If they do, that’s great, but at that point, they’re not models anymore.  They’re computer engineers or astronauts or teachers or doctors, and they’re probably not 19. 

            The problem with Barbie is her story, not her body.  Long ago, her name was Lilli, and she was a sexy secretary.  That was her character’s story.  Lilli was a fashion plate, not a role model.  She wore fashionable clothes that fashionable models wore, often with constrictive foundations.  As a doll, she was sculpted as though she was wearing them because it would be lame to put a corset on a doll. Today, models don’t wear those foundation garments, though they are quite thin.  Barbie is shaped fashionably because she has never lost her status as a fashion doll, only gained a variety of crazy careers and books while remaining Forever 19.

            Measure Barbie all you want.  She’s a fashion doll, and while she’s gained some status, that’s not who she is.  I say we should bring Lilli back to be what Barbie once was but has lost: the grown-up fashion doll for grown-ups, a plastic mini-model without the careers and the adorable life; that’s the part that’s ridiculous and annoying.

*Not an actual quote. 


PS – Happy Assonant Armistice Day, everyone!  We won’t have another one for a century.

Update: Couture Allure has a fabulous comparison between a vintage Barbie dress and Balenciaga here.